I guess its official – I’m in my mid 20s! Thank you to everyone who sent me such sweet messages around my birthday, I’m finally getting round to writing this birthday blogpost. I thought I’d do something slightly different for this post, not just putting what I got up to on the day. As my birthday this year fell on the hottest day on record in the UK so I couldn’t wear the dress I had planned, I ended up wearing a lighter dress which is coincidentally the same dress I wore on my 19th birthday.
So much has changed in my life since my 19th birthday; I’ve graduated, bought a house, started my career, as just examples of the highlights of the past 5 years. Of course with life there are major highs and lows but through everything from the last few years, here are some things that I’ve learned from my early 20s.
Happiness is not a destination
I’ve had so many thoughts like “when I go here I’ll be happy” or “when I finish goal this I’ll be happy” and then you get to that point and there is something new to worry about or you’re not as happy as you anticipated. Happiness is not a destination or an end point, it’s the finding moments of joy in the everyday that can make you feel happy. Make every day count, make memories in the journey not just focusing on the end goal.
Not everyone will like you and you won’t like everyone and that’s seriously okay
It’s not a big drama like it was in school to not get on with someone, if we don’t get on we really don’t need to be friends and that’s fine. I feel like I’ve matured enough to realise when friendships/relationships are not going to work and to say it won’t instead of faking it or dragging it out. Going through break ups and situations that we are prolonged is just not healthy – being open and honest with yourself is the best way to be.
You’re adulting and so are your friends
You’re all suddenly busy now, with jobs and bills and stress. Sometimes it feels like getting together is hard, finding a date that worked with all schedules. Being an over-thinker I thought maybe my friendships were fading and then you finally meet up and it’s like you were never apart, you pick up just where to left off. Keep in mind that as you’ve got different things going on, new things to prioritise so do the people around you.
Comparing yourself to others is just setting yourself up to be upset
People’s online lives are a curated version on their lives – posting about their success not the setbacks, not the lack of motivation you can feel or the lazy days that the ready to grind attitude is just not there. Comparing where people are in stages in their lives is also not the best idea – in my 20s I’ve seen people around me in so many different stages in their lives e.g getting married, graduating, having kids, getting their first jobs, not even knowing what they want to do with their lives. Whatever stage you are in, in your 20s, is fine – don’t compare where you are in comparison to other people. Think of what makes you happy, do things in your own pace. One of the biggest things for me in the last few years was dealing with the expectations that I had for my life growing up. I grew up having these big dreams of “when I’m 22 I’ll be doing this” or “when I’m 25 I want to be doing that” and now I’m thinking oh shit 25 is a year away and I’m no where near that goal. Your younger self didn’t know anything about being an adult, I had no thoughts about how many bills I’d have or how a mortgage works! The goals that I set were just extremely unrealistic and I’ve learnt to accept that plans that you set years ago can change.
Self care is the best care
Big thing for me was realising that I needed to listen to my body’s needs as an adult now rather than trying to follow on habits that I had as a teen. Noticing foods that now work and don’t work for me, my hangovers feel different, adding new products to my beauty routine. Different things are also more important now and just figuring out the best ways to take care of myself and keep my health up (physically and mentally).
Just some of the little things I’ve learnt so far, I’m constantly making mistakes and learning and growing and I’m so looking forward to the next chapter of my life. A massive thank you to the amazing people around me in my life who support and love me and help me in everything that I do!
Thank you for reading!