Just like Ariana Grande says in her song, she is “fucking grateful” for her exes and in a way we all should be. Every experience in life has an opportunity for learning something new, growing within ourselves. Reflecting on my life in this new year, I’m exceptionally lucky and happy to have an amazing guy in my life. Relationships beforehand have obviously not worked out and at the time it’s honestly overall a horrible feeling, like the end of the world but there are so many things that you can learn and grow from a relationship not working out.

1. Your happiness does not depend on other people

This point is big one that I learnt and it took me a little while to fully understand it. You have to be accountable for your own happiness! Happiness should come from within, doing things that make you happy, not based on someone else and the relationship. Don’t feel like you can only be happy if you’re in a relationship.

2. How to communicate your needs

It’s a lot easier to know what you want in a partner and in a relationship when you know what you don’t want based on your last relationships. You know the traits and things you didn’t like in your last partner and you can choose someone else who doesn’t have those same traits. Also you may feel a lot more confident in vocalising your opinions to actively avoid the repeating mistakes.

3. To relax more

If it was meant to be it will be, don’t get stressed over forcing a relationship with someone that you instinctively know isn’t right for you. Or getting stressed over finding love after the failed relationship. This point can also be related to being more relaxed in your next relationship, not being so caught up and stressed on certain things that you did before.

4. How to be alone

After a break up you do need time to be alone, to heal, to enjoy your own company. It may take possibly more time than you think to actually start to enjoy and be perfectly fine with being alone. Being so into someone and being completely ‘blind-sighted by love’, you may have wanted to spend every waking minute with them. By the end of the relationship you find that  you don’t know what to do with yourself. I found that by making a list of things that I liked and had really wanted to try and do, like a bucket list, really helped.

5. Learn how to love yourself 

Coming out of a relationship you may not like and regret the decisions that you made and your contributions to the break up. Don’t be too hard on yourself, you’re human and allowed to make mistakes that you can learn from. Learn to forgive yourself, love yourself and move on.

Everyone is different in their break up routines and I’d love to hear what you guys have gone through and learnt from relationships. Please feel free to comment!

xoxo

Antonia